Sane Thoughts of a Mad Man

insane man



By. Izzy B. Rael


They say that insanity is the action of desired change, yet doing the doing nothing to actually change the current results. Well, I guess to some degree we are all insane. We wait and pray for new jobs, new spouses, and sometimes even a new life. We are human and with being human we are fickle at times. Not really understanding that our actions have an uncompromising consequence. We are creatures of habit, and even in the moments of our knowing disasters, we seemingly choose to blame the universe. Life in my opinion is about the deeds, not the amount of material items we can account for in a closet or a bank account. This ideology is not something new or profound. But I find that life is more about the people we impact. Money makes the world go around is a phrase that I have found to be completely idiotic. Money only has the value that we put on it. So, why don’t we put this same importance on people as we do on money? I believe that it is easier to love something that you do not have to give patience to or have to allow into the depths of our dark realities. Our dark realities really consist of our ability to lie to ourselves. We will lie to our lives about everything. From the people we love to the dreams we tell ourselves that we still desire to achieve. Love is about as insane of thing to lie to yourself about, yet we do it anyway.

            I remember telling my mother once that love changed, and she quickly replied, “love never changes but people’s perception of love changes.” I have seen marriages fail and relationship falter like the fall of Roman aqueducts after a few hundred years. The aqueducts were a great idea and were inventive for the day, and just like these relationships they collapsed. Not because they were not meant but it was like all great things, they age and the next invention improves on the last. We are blinded by our desire to fight our ability to look in the mirror and deal with the monsters in our inner being. Some of are afraid what we might find, and afraid once we find the monster are afraid what maybe told to us by this monster. We all have demons, so why do we judge others regarding their demands. I think it is the main-state of psychologist. We all have the ability see ours problems and can provide a detailed path of how to escape the issues, but that ability seems to escape us in our relationship issues. I guess, it’s like seeing a storm from miles away, you can tell those in the village how to get out, but the villages can only see the flooded areas. You cannot love someone else if you do not love who are at that moment. If you do not know what being loved feels like how can you show love to someone else. At that moment love is only a theory, a concept of ideas and it is not real. Can you watch a movie a alone or do you need the breathing of others to quite your thoughts. Wanting the best for yourself starts with the inner-self.

Personal Growth is something that we seem smirk at when one mentions it today. The statement “I want to find myself”, seems have an undercurrent that one is lost and does not no know they are or their place in the world. I seem to think the opposite, I think that it inner-being knowing that they are capable of more than what the world is offering them at that time. It knows there is a higher plane of existence in the physical that their inner-being is craving. Many old world religions and practices speak of it; it’s the connection of the physical and the spiritual. Or simple put, the avatar state from ‘The Last Airbender’. It’s a scary journey walking in the spiritual realm for the first time but fear is an illusion. It is what stops us from ascending to our true self. Some may need to travel, some may need to suffer (emotional, mentally), and some may never understand or experience the feeling all together. But I believe every human at sometime or another needs to ask the all-important question when he or she are alone, “What am I worth?” The next question is “what is my time worth?” Time is the only currency that cannot be replenished. ‘What are you worth?’ Every moment is not like the last, don’t allowing the world to make you believe differently. Carpe Diem!

– Until we speak again


By Louis Falcinelli

“Load up on guns, bring your friends It’s fun to lose and to pretend. She’s over bored and self assured. Oh no, I know a dirty word.”

Those are the introductory lyrics to “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, off of Nirvana’s sophomore, acclaimed album, Nevermind, solidifying their stance as Grudge royalty, and propelling its frontman, Kurt Cobain, as its King.

CobainThe music video, reading like a f*ck you statement to young adult conformity, set in a rundown auditorium, where an almost zombify cheerleading squad, with classic high school stereotypes, preps, stoners, slackers, wastoids, among others, scattered throughout in the bleachers, and flashes of a withered janitor, perhaps hearing the sound of the music, which in turns ignites his own nostalgia for a younger time but now long behind him. The sentiment in the song of true distain for tainting our youth with phony conventions, rang true then as it does today.

Their Songs, deeper, darker, probing, with perhaps an emphasis on examination of youth culture. Their Style, plain, worn, carefree. Their Attitude, much like their style, while throwing it all out there to be heard. This struck a cord with the music psyche at the time, when an infusion for something different was very much needed, with the more conventional sounds of rock and roll, needing an interjection, for a different kinda sound, style, and attitude, and through Nirvana, they certainly got it.

Cobain, a solemn, somewhat even reserved, introspective man, piercing eyes, scruffy face, and long hair draped in his eyes was certainly probing for questions.

His own adolescence marred in early disillusionment, parents divorce, high school dropout, where a young Kurt struggled to find his place, seeking solace in the creation of those hard hitting sounds, that would become the impetus for his band, and a source of refuge for all he sought against and embraced in one cycle. It more than likely lent itself to not only the frustration of his own inner demons, tragically taking his own life in ’94 at only 27 (self inflected gunshot wound) but also spoke to that same generation he grew up in, known as GenXers.

For as Bleak as the band could get and the unfortunate demise of its leader, they posed questions, raised awareness, and above all, made us think, while at the same time delivering it to us in that aggressive sound, penetrating lyrics, aware, but smart enough to deliver it abrupt, in your face way, to emphasis their point, in the age of immediacy they knew to deliver it intensely and timely, to truly reach the masses of young people, speaking to their inner self, what was at their inner core, well, whatever, nevermind…

Why The Internet Doesn’t Suck

an essay by Laura Storch


     It seems as if the large majority of the world is under the impression the internet is going to destroy us all. As if it is something humankind didn’t create. Although to be fair, it does seem to be larger than life these days, and growing in power. Generations that came before the millennial generation and did not grow up with the internet like millennials did, seem especially susceptible to paranoia and misuse. This is apparent in everything from the music industry’s inability and almost refusal to adapt to the changing listening landscape (such as streaming sites), to every time a politician or other prominent social figure forgets that hacking is a thing and sends something that they wouldn’t want public via email or social media , and are surprised when they are hacked and held accountable. That is not to say the younger generations don’t have their fair share of internet idiocy, but in general they have adapted to it on an almost evolutionary level since the internet grew up with us.

     I’m sure I’m not the only one who has heard a similar lecture from older relatives reflecting on “their day” as if nothing bad ever happened prior to 1980. And although I can accept the fact that the birth of the world wide web changed things, I just don’t always see that as a bad thing. For starters, I can’t help but think how much easier it could have made things for everyone from earlier civil rights and feminist activists to the punk movement of the 1970’s. I don’t see how it is wise for anyone to underestimate the power of a global forum where virtually anyone and everyone from around the world can connect. I find that overwhelmingly powerful, in the same way the sky or the ocean is bigger than us, the internet and its contents is as well.  It’s hard to fathom a world where one could not find a seemingly infinite stream of information. Especially as a student, it makes self-educating more possible than ever.  And anything that gives the power of knowledge to the people is something I can’t help but condone.

     That isn’t to say there aren’t some negative aspects to rise of the internet. The cliches of people who’s phones have become somewhat of an additional appendage, one that is essential for existence, isn’t completely inaccurate. The internet also can be a magnet for every loser with internet access to flood otherwise worthwhile content with negativity, ignorance, and propaganda. As social media rises it is crucial for culture and society to not see that as the only means for communication, but rather a meeting spot to further develop relationships of all kinds in a more personal way. In the grand scheme of things, the internet and social media are very new phenomena that have not been an essential part of life and culture for very long. Naturally, there is going to be an adaptation period that we might very well be experiencing right now. This is evidence in the misuse, misrepresentation, and constant debates involving all things technological. We see some of our art contemplate such philosophical questions as well. Shows such as the British show “Black Mirror” (brilliantly) depicts such paranoia in such a way that seems a little futuristic  yet just feasible enough that it makes the viewer think in such philosophical ways in terms of technology and how it could potentially impact our lives. To go back to my prior comparison of the vastness and infinite appearance of the ocean and the sky and now the internet, there’s one key difference. Humankind made the internet. Some see it as our baby, others as our Frankenstein, but one thing that can’t be denied from either side of the debate is the substantial potential the internet has for good. This is our creation, our super power, it’s just up to us to use our power for good.

The World Through My Eyes


a personal essay by Chris Guzman 

The state in which we find our generation in today is a very ambiguous one. We find ourselves between a rock and a hard place when all our lives we’ve been told to go to schools that are less than adequate and have been for quite some time. We eventually further our education that’s too expensive, to earn a degree that leaves you at a losing position with an insurmountable debt (at least, depending on the degree), and the jobs that pay less than adequate money to effectively live a stable lifestyle, which is the burden we are left with once we graduate from these institutions. My personal experiences are not unlike what I’ve described above, and because I know better, I choose not to follow in with the whole trap that society has blindly accepted as the be all end all to life’s problems. I myself at 27 years old have been through a roller coaster of job search, job landing, of all kinds, from the physical, laborious jobs like moving, and stocking, to clerical office jobs, like mail and file clerk positions. I haven’t been able to hold these jobs for very long due to my ever-curious nature together with gauging which jobs are better suited for me in the long run and a few not-so-nice personalities. My motto is, what’s the point of living life if you can’t experience all that it has to offer?

To me it’s very important that I not be tied down to one path because there is so much unexplored territory that we constantly miss because we as a society are too into our careers and too encumbered by the stresses of life. This goes for my work life but I realize that I carry it over into my general life, as a life philosophy. I feel that society, especially in this country sees your career and associates that with power. Power is thought to last forever when we fail to realize that this power has been given to us through people in higher positions than us, and powers above them, and that they can be revoked, at any time for no reason. We buy big houses, big cars, big screen TV’s, basically shit we don’t need to keep up with the Joneses to prove to others how good we’ve got it. Yeah we’ve got plenty to show for all of our hard work we did in life, but I guarantee you, it’s all because someone in a higher position than us decided to give it to us and just as fast as they gave us that $50k or $60k job, they can take it away. It’s the illusion of power.

As soon as we come down from the euphoria of the “American Dream” or the life we’ve always wanted which is usually by a firing or lay-off, what does all of your “hard work” mean then? Why is it that you get 20k less at the new job you find than what you were making at the job you were laid-off from? People play with your worth, your monetary value. These are things I think about when I philosophize about American life and what it means to me as a young adult in my generation. I’ve also developed this perspective when I changed jobs very frequently and realized the frail reality of what it means to have a position that someone gives you because you have credentials they find valuable at the moment. In the end, when we’ve lost what we’ve worked for, experiences are all we have. People commit suicides over these losses. To me that resembles how closely some people can identify with their belongings and lifestyle. Who gives our experience value? We do, but that doesn’t pay the bills to afford our most basic needs lest we go back to our hunter/gatherer roots.

Tyler Durden in Fight Club had a point when he said “It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” To me, that quote rings very true in general and especially when it comes to what it means to work for a seemingly secure position that affords you privileges that can be revoked at any time for any reason. What I’m saying with all this is that we have to live in a more reasonable way that doesn’t involve so much pressure on our very existence. Why is it that other economies can thrive with less money, but less stress, low to non-existent suicide and murder rates, lower tuition rates and we can’t? Eventually I myself will come up with my own conclusions to my own questions but they should only be the foundations for newer questions, but that is what I find exciting about life.

There is always something we can learn about our environment and why we are here on earth to do so. This is what I think about as a man in my generation, and I feel like it gives a very accurate picture as to what I feel should be the very issues that should be talked about more in the general public.